


Flightless Angel

by CheerfullyCynical



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Magnus Bane, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Bad Parenting, Battle Couple Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Caring Magnus Bane, Child Abuse, Domestic Fluff, Gen, Hurt Alec, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Seriously the Lightwoods are Evil in this, Wingfic, Wings, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-09-02 14:23:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20277334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheerfullyCynical/pseuds/CheerfullyCynical
Summary: Alec's wings appeared when he was five years old.His parents told him that his wings put shame on the Lightwood name - that he would hide them forever.When Magnus is in danger, Alec has only once choice.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags! Seriously, the Lightwood parents are horrible in this. 
> 
> This takes place SOMEWHERE after the first I love you(s) (After the first battle with Valentine in the Institute. With Jace touching the sword. Idk SOMEWHERE after that).

Alec saw his wings for the first time when he was just five years old.

It was the middle of an ordinary night - Alec had finished his studies, practiced with his new blades, and attended a Clave meeting with his mother. Throughout all of this, Alec had managed to cheer his three-year-old sister up with a silly story and both of them had fallen asleep quietly in their separate rooms.  
  
Alec thought he would sleep like he normally did; peacefully and comforted by the fact that he could hear his sister if she needed him in the middle of the night.

Instead, he woke to an intense flash of pain on his back. He groaned into his pillow, his eyes sliding shut once again. Bright pops of color assaulted his vision. In another second, Alec was…

Alec was...He didn’t know where he was. He could feel his body in the air, trying to move away from a foreign pain that he could not get rid of. His back was on _fire - _Sparks of electricity raced down his spine as bones popped, broke, and were remade.

There was a noise. Someone had thrown open the door to his bedroom, but Alec couldn’t see who it was. He realized with sudden clarity that he was screaming. Though that fact came suddenly, it did nothing to stop Alec as he felt bone and muscle scraping together.

He convulsed on his bed, tears streaming down his face as another ripple of pain went through his already destroyed body. He found himself on his stomach, taking in deep breaths of air as his parents gripped at his body, trying to comfort him. His shirt was tugged off him, hands softly prodding to try and find _something _there

“H-hurts.” He whimpered, feeling something shift once again.

“What hurts?” His mother asked him, gripping his hand tightly, “Alec, honey. What hurts?”

But Alec couldn’t answer her. He screamed once again, feeling two deep slashes in his back - it was if a sword bathed in acid had cut into him, all the way to the bone. Something warm dripped from them, onto the bed, but Alec couldn’t see it. Instead, he was left screaming again, begging whoever he could to make it stop.

When he came back to it, his parents were yelling loudly at each other. His mother was crying, panicked, while his father was deathly pale. Alec attempted to move, only to find something really heavy weighing him down.

When he tried to look at it, he realized that…

That it was impossible.

“M-m-mom?” He whimpered, looking at the limbs that were covered in a red, gooey substance, “W-what?”

“Send a fire message to the Silent Brothers,” His mom said, ignoring him, “We can’t - Robert, our _son._”

Alec tried to move once again, but, instead, the two very impossible things moved for him. Alec had to accept that what was weighing him down was attached to his body - he had to accept that the thing he was seeing was _real. _

Two...Two _bird wings _were attached to him, covered in so much blood that he couldn’t see what color they were. Mystified, he tried to reach for them, gasping as he felt the soft, kind of disgusting feeling of feathers on his fingertips _and… And _connected to him. The wings, near the very root of the feather, could feel what he was touching.

Alec tried to move one of the wings closer, not wanting but needing to inspect it. The wing listened to his command, bringing the end of them closer to his hand, where he tried his best to wipe away the gooey mess.

Underneath his very own blood was what appeared to be the color black. The more Alec wiped away, the more he realized that the black feathers faded into a brown color. They were soft to the touch, yet the root of the feathers were sensitive.

When Alec attempted to move them completely, they lifted up into the air, held perfectly balanced. He realized that he was no longer in any pain. With that, he flipped over, resisting the urge to use his wings to help.

Somehow, they were already accepted by Alec - they felt _right. _

“Alec,” His mother said, voice stern, “We’re going to see The Silent Brothers, okay?”

Alec knew very little about who the Silent Brothers were. In fact, he had only heard them mentioned when one of the Shadowhunters were injured or ‘in need of guidance.’ Why Alec had to go see them, he didn’t know, but he would never disobey his mother.

Without a word, Alec got up from his bed. When his feet hit the ground, the wings instantly adjusted for him, balancing in a way that felt… Perfect. Without realizing what he was doing, he spread the wings out as far as he could, watching in shock as one of them touched the wall nearly six feet away.

“By the Angel,” He father whispered, looking paralyzed with fear. Alec couldn’t understand why. “Maryse?”

“Watch Isabelle,” His mother commanded, voice steely. It was a stark contrast from the crying that Alec had seen before. “I will fix this, Robert.”

His mother grabbed his arm in a harsh grip, causing Alec to stumble. His wings instantly adjusted, flapping lightly to help keep him steady. His mom dragged him to the living room, not even glancing at him as he once again studied the wings. Alec had a sudden urge to clean every feather that was dirty.

“Alexander-” Mom said, kneeling down to talk to him. Oh no, that was usually when he did something particularly awful - like miss one of his targets or get knocked down in training. 

“Did I do something bad?” He interrupted, fearful. His wings fluttered, showing his nervousness in a way Alec never could.

“Yes, Alec,” His mother said, gripping both his wrist in a tight grip. Her eyes had never been scarier, “These - these _wings _can not be seen. People will not tolerate them - they’ll hate you for it. I need them to disappear.” 

Alec’s heart beat frantically in his chest - no, his mother couldn’t mean that! The wings, though new, felt so _right _to Alec. He couldn’t just...He couldn’t get rid of them! They were a part of him now, perfect for him.

“But-” Alec asked, not understanding. Why was his mother gripping his wrists so tightly? It was starting to hurt.

“Do as you’re told!” His mother yelled, rearing back her arm, “Or so help me, you will not step out of this house for days!”

His wings fluttered once again, looking to tremble in fear. Alec felt tears in his eyes, scared of what his mother meant to do with her hand raised. He gasped, nodding, and begged the wings to disappear.

The wings pulled against him, folding against his back. They settled for a second, the soft ones on the bottom brushing Alec’s bare back. Alec took in an unsteady breath, needing the wings to go away.

But they wouldn’t! No matter what Alec attempted to do, the wings stayed curled up perfectly on his back, the tips of the wings _just _not touching the ground.

“I-I c-can’t-” He cried to his mother, tears running down his face, “I-i’m t-trying.”

His mother had finally put her arm down, looking deeply saddened, “It’s for your own good, Alec,” She whispered, eyes somehow soft once again. Alec didn’t - couldn’t understand what was going on.

His mother’s hand reared back once again, this time with the hilt of her ever present seraph dagger pointed towards him. Before Alec could cry out…Before he could flinch away...Before he could catch himself...His mother had, with all her strength, smashed the blade handle on his temple.

He knew nothing but darkness.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Alec woke.

He blinked at the bright lights above him, feeling disoriented. He turned his head to the left, feeling lost as he didn’t recognize any of his surroundings. Two people were in the room. No, they weren’t _exactly _people. Their eyes and mouths were sewed shut with ugly, thick black string. They were wearing strange, yellow and orange robs. Alec had never felt so scared in his life.

He dragged himself into a ball on the bed, trembling as the two _beings _came closer to him. He realized that the wings that had appeared were still on his back, comfortably draped over the sides of the bed.

They were clean now - Alec could see the black feathers clearly. Near the middle of the first set of feathers, they turned a soft brown - nearly the same color as chocolate. And, as his eyes traveled up, he realized some of the wings had a golden hue.

“_Alexander Lightwood,” _

Alec gasped, hearing a voice in his head, but not seeing where it came from.

“_Your mother will return shortly.” _He said, his voice echoing in Alec’s head,_ “We are the Silent Brothers that looked over your...Injuries. Though the wings tell signs of good fortune, your mother has requested that they be hidden from the Downworld. As that is her wish, you have received a rune on your hip. You, or anyone else, will only see it when both the wings and the rune are first activated. Then both will be invisible.”_

Alec felt terror grip his heart - a rune? He knew from his lessons that he wasn’t supposed to use a rune until he went through his ceremony. How could these people allow him to use a rune?

“Thank you, Brother Zepth.” His mother’s voice broke in, calming Alec slightly. “I will take Alec back home and explain the situation.”

Alec had a sudden image of his mother striking him on the head. When she put her arm out to take his hand, he couldn’t stop the flinch. His mother paid no mind. Instead, she grabbed his hand in a painful grip and pulled him to his feet.

His wings fluttered once, brushing against the bottom of the bed, the other nearly touching one of the Silent Brothers. Not liking that, he called his wings to his back once again, feeling comforted that they couldn’t accidentally touch something.

“_Alexander,” _The Silent Brother said, just as his mother almost had him out the doors of the infirmary, “_You may not understand, but your mother can not keep this hidden forever.” _

Alec _didn’t _understand - he didn’t understand why or how there were wings on his back. Why he had to hide them. Why his mother had become so _mean _and _scary. _None of it was making sense. He wanted everything to go back to normal.

Before he could he could say anything, his mother pushed open the doors. Alec realized a moment later that the doors had opened a portal. One second Alec was blinking against the harsh light in the infirmary with strange people, the next second he was back in his living room.

It was still dark out. How long had Alec been asleep?

He stood in front of both his parents, feeling nervous despite not knowing _what _was going on. He fidgeted, eyes down as his parents said nothing.

“Oh, Alec, honey,” His mother said, crouching down to look him in the eyes. Alec felt instantly reassured. “We’ll fix this, okay? You’ll be alright.”

Alec didn’t know what was going on._. _He felt _fine, _better than he ever had. The wings didn’t _not _bother him - in fact, he felt reassured by them. Their presence was comforting, something he didn’t know he needed but desperately _wanted. _

His mother took out her stele, glancing at his father, who nodded. “Alec, we’re going to activate the rune now, okay? It’ll sting for a second and then it’ll be over.”

“But the-the person said that they would be invis-invise.” Alec felt tears of frustration at not being able to say the word.

“Invisible,” His mother patiently replied, “Yes, Alec. Remember, we are Lightwoods - we can only afford to be the best.” 

“But I don’t want the wings gone!” Alec cried. His wings broke free from his back, shaking slightly.

“Alexander,” His father said, voice stern. He leaned down with his mother, glaring at him, “You will do what your mother says. This is no time to argue.”

Alec nodded instantly, too scared of what his father would do if he resisted. He had never seen his father _angry _before - disappointed, maybe, but he had never raised his voice to him.

His mother turned him slightly, putting the tip of the stele near his right hip. “Take a deep breath.”

Alec didn’t have a chance too. He gasped as the stele _burned _on his skin, turning it an angry red. He cried out, attempting to move away, but his father’s hands were on him in a second, holding him in place. He squirmed, feeling something...Something happen to his back. It wasn’t _right _\- it was uncomfortable and awful and he wanted it to _stop. _

“No!” He cried, resisting his father’s harsh grip on his shoulders. “Mom-”

But his mother had stopped drawing on his skin. He looked down, watching in horror as the black lines of a rune appeared on his skin. He blinked, watching it disappear before his very eyes. Just as his father released him, he felt what the rune had done.

His wings were _gone. _He attempted to move them, but it was like he was completely disconnected from them. He stumbled, his weight uneven. “No.” He cried, looking desperately for them.

“Calm down, sweetheart,” His mother said softly, gathering him in a hug. Alec almost resisted it. “It’s okay now. It’s going to be okay.”

Alec cried into her shoulder, feeling disoriented and horrible and _sick. _This wasn’t right. This couldn’t be right. The wings were _his _and they were a part of him. They couldn’t be gone. They _couldn’t. _

Alec cried and cried, but his mother didn’t ever activate the rune again.

His father picked him up, taking him somewhere. Alec didn’t care - he just wanted them _back. _He didn’t even get to look at them in the mirror, he didn’t get to study the color, he didn’t get to _move _them. This was _wrong, wrong, wrong. _

He was placed on his bed on his back. Instantly, he flipped to his stomach, clutching the pillow to his chest.

“Please,” He said, not knowing what he wanted to say, “_Please._”

But his parents were not longer in the room.

He put his arms around himself, feeling for them.

He felt nothing.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Three months had passed since that night. His parents had acted as if nothing had changed, but everyday Alec woke up with misguided hope that the wings would be there once again. Everyday, he felt as if he was in someone else's body.

Once again, Alec was in bed, looking in his mirror. He imagined the wings on his body, lifting in the air and feeling the weight of them. Yet, every time Alec was disappointed. He forced himself to close his eyes. Maybe, possibly, he fell asleep.

He woke up in the middle of the night, back once again on fire.

He cried out, sitting upright in his bed. His back was itching like mad - so unbearable that Alec found himself using his door frame to scratch away the pain. Yet, it did nothing to help him. Scared, Alec ran to his parent’s door, banging on it with all of his might.

“Mom?” He called, feeling tears on his face.

His mother opened the door. With one look at him, she gathered him in her arms, bringing him to his parents’ bed.

“Hurts!” Alec whimpered, attempting in vain to reach his back.

His mother moved away, replaced instantly by his father, who ripped Alec’s shirt of his body. Alec cried out again as the fabric brushed across the already sensitive skin. In another moment, his mother was pressing her stele to where he knew the rune that hid his wings was located.

It burned, just as before, but the pain in his back outweighed it. In a flash of white light, his wings appeared once again. Feathers fell around the room, one in front of Alec’s face. He reached for it, clutching the brown wing in his fist - it was covered in blood.

Alec flapped his wings experimentally, feeling relieved, yet immediately after grimacing in extreme displeasure. The feathers were in each direction, painfully separated. Without prompting, he called one of the wings to him, trying his best to lay the feathers flat and correctly.

He instantly felt better as he did this, breathing becoming steady. He was in his own world, him and wings, completely relaxed.

There was a noise behind him, and then he felt strong hands grip the back of his other wing, almost painfully. Alec attempted to move his wing away, but it was trapped. He turned to look at who it was, only to find the angry gaze of his father.

“_Don’t touch them,_” He hissed, gripping the wing harder. Alec winced, but said nothing, too scared. Alec lowered his eyes to the ground, pulling his hands away from the wing he was fixing. Alec closed his eyes, trying to stop his tears.

There was a moment of stillness in the air. His father ran his hand over the outside of his wing, his finger going over one of the out of place feathers. Alec didn’t move, yet his wing twitched slightly, almost _wincing _in discomfort.  
  
“Maryse, activate the rune.”

Alec turned to look at his mom, hoping that she wouldn’t. No, she couldn’t possibly. They hurt too much - he had to fix them! They couldn’t disappear again! If he had any hope of his mother arguing with his father, it was lost the moment Alec looked in her eyes.

She looked _disgusted. _

Alec felt what was left of his heart shatter in his chest. If he had any hope of his parents loving him after this - if he had any hope of ever loving the wings, it was lost the moment his mother walked towards him, stele in her hand.

He didn’t fight her this time. Instead, he continued to look down as the rune burned into his skin. He stopped his tears - he didn’t need them. No, if he ever loved his family, he would pretend the wings never existed.

His mother led him to his room silently. Without a word, she shut the door, leaving him in the dark. Alec didn’t care. Instead, he walked to his bed and slept on his back, refusing to wince or cry out as the burning and itching in his back continued.

Alec opened his fist in the middle of the night, unaware that a feather fell from his tight grip and under his dresser.

Weeks later, his mother had swept it up and he never saw it again.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Alec lasted a week until he could no longer stay quiet. His training was being affected and his mother was constantly disappointed by him. He finally - _finally _confessed that it was due to the pain in his back.

It was the first night his father was forced to groom his wings.

Every time, it left him with half put together feathers and bruises.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Every three months his father activated his rune and fixed his wings.

Alec would cry himself to sleep each time, blood ruining his bed.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When he was eight, his mother gave him a small journal.

It told of other Nephilim that had wings. The oldest one died when she was fourteen.

Alec didn’t ever want to show Izzy his wings.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The first time Alec was handed his very own stele, he went straight to his room after his lessons and shut the door, telling Izzy that he wasn’t feeling well.

He found himself in front of the mirror, his shirt off. The only rune he could see on his body was the Clairvoyant rune, yet he knew that if he put the stele to his hip, he would be able to see his wings.

He stared at his reflection, allowing himself to imagine the wings on his body - being able to see them entirely for once in his life. Alec looked away, knowing that his parents wouldn’t approve. His wings made him a freak of nature - a burden on the Lightwood name.

The stele felt like a knife. He rolled it between his fingers, trying to find comfort. Instead, he found himself shaking, at war with what to do. With a cry, he threw the stele across the room, watching with horror as it slammed into the wall and then bounced onto the ground and, finally, out of sight.  


His family mattered more than his _wings. _

_His family mattered more than his happiness._  


XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Jace arrived when he was ten. He needed a different kind of attention than Izzy did, but Alec was happy to have a brother.

Alec didn’t think he would ever have a closer friend.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx  
  
Alec was wrong.

What Alec wanted - anything Alec had ever wanted was always morphed to the point where he despised the very idea of it.

Alec wanted a parabatai…

...Alec didn’t want to be in love with him.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Jace, after being his parabatai for six months, asked him about the pain in his back.

Alec stuttered an excuse, telling him it was just the bond being weird.

His father stopped leaving bruises.

It didn’t stop the pain.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Alec met Clary Fray.

Alec had to admit, he admired her stubbornness, if not anything else. She didn’t take no for an answer - something that tormented Alec - and she was always _there _causing a mess. She reminded him of Izzy, yet completely _clueless _and _reckless_.

Just like his parabatai.

Alec couldn’t help but feel jealous. Five minutes into meeting her and Jace was addicted, looking at her the way that Alec looked at -

He stopped his thoughts. Apparently, he had a Warlock to meet.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Magnus Bane was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Alec couldn’t help it - his eyes followed Magnus’s every move and gesture. And _boy _did he make a lot of them. The man loved to move, his hands always following the story that Magnus spun.  
  
And when Magnus looked at him? Alec lost all logical thought.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Alec couldn’t breathe.

It was okay.

After all, it was Magnus that stole the breath from his lungs.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

After kissing a gay Downworlder in front of the Clave, Alec was terrified of going to his father to groom his feathers. He knew that his parents hated him - that, at this point, he was sure that displaying his wings was better than what he did.

Yet, Alec _still _had Magnus. It was awkward, new, difficult, weird, and-

_wonderful. _

He groomed his wings himself when he knew that Magnus would not be home. It might have been wrong, using Magnus’s apartment, but Alec had nowhere else to go. For the first time, he brought the stele to the unnamed rune.

Alec’s back was to the mirror in the bathroom - he didn’t know if he was ready to look at them. Unsteadily, he looked slightly to the left, barely able to contain his astonishment at the large wing. Magnus had a _very _big bathroom; yet, when Alec tried to extend his wings fully, they still did not fit.

That..That meant they were at _least _nine feet long.

His flapped his wings _just _slightly, relieved when it didn’t hurt to move them. Instead, Alec’s heart skipped a beat - he felt _energized. _

He folded the wings onto his back, just as he did when he was a kid. When they retracted enough, Alec turned around, _needing _to see them.

They were...They were just as Alec remembered - black, brown, and gold. The colors rushed together in some places, a beautiful splash of hues that went together with the solid colors by the tips of the feathers.

Yet, a lot of the feathers were disgustingly out of place. Breathing deeply, Alec brought the first wing to his hands, feeling completely relaxed and comforted as he fixed each feather one by one.

Alec couldn’t reach the wings closer to his back. At one point, mostly in desperation, he grabbed his seraph blade and used the handle to at least smooth down the feathers. It wasn’t the nicest thing Alec had seen, but it was better than leaving them like that.

When both were, mostly, done, Alec continued staring at his reflection for the longest time, admiring the wings - _his _wings.

He hated them - a large part of him loathed they ever existed. Yet, even after all the years of torment that they brought, he couldn’t bring himself to want them gone.

There was a sudden noise of the front door opening.

Cursing himself, Alec clumsily searched for his stele. Knowing that he was a bad liar, he turned the shower on and hopped in.

Magnus went in after him only a few moments after with that familiar, loving smile on his face.

His wings were easily forgotten.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KIND RESPONSE TO THIS FIC. All of you are amazing.
> 
> More notes at the bottom! Hope you enjoy!

Magnus and Alec woke up together.

They woke up at the same time, smiling lightly. Alec brought his hand to Magnus just as Magnus did the same. Somehow, by doing that, even with Alec being a Shadowhunter, they missed each other. They both laughed, Alec good naturally rolling his eyes at him. There was a peaceful silence in the room. It was so tempting to lay in bed forever, with his boyfriend happily in his arms, yet he knew that he had to get up. He lifted up from the bed and looked down at Magnus.

“I love you.”

It’s been two weeks since they said that to each other. Alec couldn’t stop saying it if he wanted to.

As always, Magnus’ eyes softened at the whispered words. He put a hand to Alec’s face, Magnus’s thumb tracing his jaw. “I love you too.”

Alec stared at Magnus’s face; taking in detail after detail and cataloging it in his head. The little crinkle on the corner of his eyes, his perfect lips, his hair, his eyes…Everything in this moment, Alec wanted to have forever.

Magnus, sensing his need, ran his hands over Alec’s bare shoulders, humming as he did so. “I believe this is the part where you say _I have to get back to work._”

Alec raised an eyebrow at him, but he wasn’t offended, “I don’t sound like that.” He replied, pulling away from Magnus and getting up from their bed.

Their bed. Huh, only a couple of weeks ago Alec was left wondering if Magnus would ever forgive him for lying about the Soul Sword. He had been in his bed at the Institute, yet it didn’t feel like _his _bed anymore.

Alec could feel Magnus’s fondly exasperated glare, almost daring him to question him. But Alec only shook his head, knowing that that was _exactly _what he sounded like. “At least with Valentine quiet, there’s nothing to lie about..”

It was the wrong thing to say – Alec always manages to say the wrong thing. He knew that Magnus was hurting. Of course he knew. Lying to Magnus was one of the worst decisions Alec had ever made - It wasn’t fair of him to bring it up in such a roundabout way.

“Magnus…” Alec said, turning back around and looking at him closely, looking for traces of him hurting.

But Magnus smiled gently at him, also getting up from the bed, “I’m fine, darling. Don’t worry your pretty little head about me.”

Alec still said nothing. He watched carefully as Magnus went to pick up his shirt. Only a few days ago, he would have snapped his fingers with dramatic flair just for Alec’s amusement and have breakfast ready with a wave of his hand. Yet, here he was, gracefully yet _holding back something that Alec didn’t understand _picking up his clothes and putting them on.

Lying, apparently, led to Alec seeing less of Magnus’s magic.

“Alright,” Alec said, also throwing on a shirt. He knew he was supposed to push Magnus, but both of them knew he didn’t have the time, “I love you, okay?”

Magnus walked to him and put a comforting hand on Alec’s shoulder. “I know.”

There was _tension. _Alec didn’t do tension. Usually, Izzy would break it by saying something embarrassing, or Jace would just walk out of the room, ending the conversation. With Magnus, it was up to Alec.

“I -uh,” Alec blushed, attempting not to watch as Magnus stretched, a small part of his stomach showing, “Let’s – Lunch? I’m thinking about trying something.” Magnus smiled devilishly, causing Alec to blush even more.

Magnus continued to smile at him, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Oh, Alexander, I didn’t realize we needed a name for our sex life.”

Alec could _feel _the blush on his ears. He spluttered, unable to form words_. _“F-For the Downworld council! Trying something!” He stuttered out. “Twelve o’clock!”

“Twelve.” Magnus agreed, plopping down on their bed, “I’ll be there.”

With one last look, Alec made his way out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Though he hated to admit it, he was tense as he got ready to go back to the Institute.

Realizing the time, Alec sheepishly went back to their bedroom and asked for a portal. With a fond expression and a rather exaggerated wave of his hands, a portal appeared. Alec quickly sneaked another kiss and then rushed into the portal, breathing out a long breath as he arrived in his office.

Being head of the New York Institute was always a dream of his as a kid. He thought, naively, that being head would finally make his parents proud – would finally have them accept him as a good son, even with his wings. Yet, as he grew older, he had to admit to himself that his parent’s expectations of him were never going to be what Alec could achieve.

Being with Magnus made him realize what his parent’s expectations _should _have been.

Alec had flaws – he knew that he was sometimes incapable of balancing life and work. Well, in his case lately, a certain warlock and work. He was too stubborn for his own good – he followed rules too well. He didn’t know how to be, well, emotional. He didn’t know how to express his true emotions without stumbling through it.

But, somehow, Magnus was there.

Magnus was always there, no matter how many times Alec thought he had messed up. He would make an apology in a way that Magnus almost couldn’t deal with – Every apology he had made, after all, was to the Clave. He didn’t know how else to apologize.

They had been on opposite sides of a war and come out, somehow, still in a beautiful, crazy relationship. They’d argued about morals and what was right until they were both red in the face, feeling hurt. They argued about _how _to love each other and what was acceptable.

But, at the end of the day, they always had each other and that’s the most important part.

Just as he sat himself down to do some paperwork, Jace barged into his office, followed by Izzy and Clary.

“Whatever it is,” Alec told them, not glancing up from a letter from the Jersey Institute that was marked as ‘urgent’, “No.”

Izzy groaned loudly, followed by a loud click of her heels as she plopped herself onto what she deemed was her couch.

Alec glanced through the letter. Apparently, there was a lot of demon activity that was slowly creeping its way over through the George Washington Bridge. Even worse, part of it was due to a rogue Warlock. Magnus was going to be thrilled.

“I thought you’d be more agreeable after a night with Magnus,” Jace continued for his sister, but instead of sitting with Izzy, he just…Sat on his desk. “But I guess this is-”

“I need to organize a team,” Alec interrupted, pushing past his parabatai without another thought, “Demon activity near the bridge.”

“I want to go,” Izzy said, getting up from the couch in a perfect set of movements and nearly skipping towards him, “Come on, big brother! When was the last time all of us went just regular, normal Shadowhunting?

“There’s such a thing as ‘normal’ when you’re Shadowhunting?” Clary asked, “I thought it was a dangerous adventure every day?”

“It is.” Alec replied, voice steely, “This isn’t a joke.”

“And we’re not joking!” Jace said, placing an arm on his shoulder and stopping him from leaving the room, “Come on, Alec. It’ll be good for us.”

Alec raised an eyebrow at him – this was just like them, honestly. All of them had duties to do, places they were supposed to be, yet his siblings wanted to go _hunting. _He felt like he was twelve years old again, sneaking out from the Institute.

Yet, Alec couldn’t deny that it had been ages since they had honestly _been _hunting a demon. He longed to grab a his bow and have a good, hard fight.

“Alright.”

The room erupted into cheers. Izzy had the audacity to pull him into a hug. Alec rolled his eyes at them but couldn’t help the small smile. They were ridiculous.

“I’ll go find someone to take your shift,” Izzy told him, smiling mischievously. Both of them knew the only person that could take over for the day was their father. Good thing she had him wrapped around her finger.

The three of them disappeared as fast as they had come. Alec couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle alone in the room. Sometimes, his family was a whirlwind.

Alec called Magnus – a rogue Warlock was nothing to laugh about, especially one that was opening portals to demon realms. He was going to be upset about not having a lunch date, but work was work.

This was going to be one hell of a mission.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

“So,” Simon interrupted, fraying on Alec’s nerves, “We’re just…Waiting? Just sitting here like every bad cop show?”

Clary snorted, “You know, this is the first time I thought of Shadowhunters as cops?”

“What else would we be?” Jace asked, tossing his blade up and down in boredom. Alec was the only one left actually watching the bridge for any activity. Even his boyfriend had put down the pretense of watching.

Clary started to say something, but was interrupted by Simon blurting out something about a video game with… Assassins? Alec could only feel his frustration build.

“Will you relax, _hermano_?” Izzy said, swinging her legs off the top of a beam. It looked extremely dangerous – Alec knew that she loved it. “You’re giving me a headache looking at you.”

Alec glared lightly at her but continued his watch. He had to admit, being this high up ground had him feeling more relaxed than he usually was. It was easier to see an enemy coming. If – _if _– he sat down, he could still see everything.

Just as he was seriously considering it, there was a blur in the corner of his eye. Without hesitation, Alec grabbed an arrow from his quiver and fired, watching in deep satisfaction as a demon exploded into black ash across the water.

“Wait!” Alec told Magnus, who’s original plan was to open a portal as soon as the demons appeared.

“Do you see…?” Alec asked Magnus, but Magnus was too busy staring at the water. With a flick of his fingers, blue orbs appeared at the bottom of the bridge. It was like watching clouds roll in before a storm – demons, hundreds of them, _moved _and snapped at each other, pushing themselves in their haste to reach the top of the bridge.

Taking a deep breath, Alec opened and closed his eyes, watching closely as the water rippled more…This was…This was a _battle, _not a mission. 

“Alec…?” Jace asked, blades at the ready.

The water surrounding the Hudson River lit up in a blue haze as Magnus moved his magic, no doubting wanting to see where the horde of demons ended. Demons of every kind were illuminated – dozens of them ready to rush onto the bridge and cause havoc – and Alec couldn’t help but question what their goal was. Why did they want to enter the city? 

_How did they not know about this? This kind of thing took months to pull of and the only hint they had was some rogue Warlock. Was this Valentine’s work or something else entirely?_

“_Holy shit_.”

But Alec didn’t have time to worry about Simon. No, he had to form some sort of battle plan. He had to be the Head of the New York Institute. “Izzy, call the Institute, put out the alert. Clary and Magnus-”

Alec hesitated. He shouldn’t hesitate. He was the Head of the Institute – the Leader. He trained all his life to push his emotions aside and _lead._ He couldn’t let his feelings cloud his need to protect his people and his mission.

Magnus smiled at him softly, giving him a teasing wink. “Biscuit and I will take the lower level.”

Alec nodded at him in thanks. He loved the man and he cared deeply for the fiery red head. He couldn’t lose them both. But Alec knew that he would need Jace in this fight – if not to be distracted by Magnus getting hurt, but instead by having his brother next to him and protecting each other.

“But-” Jace interrupted, looking frustrated. Alec had no doubt that his parabatai wanted to be with his girlfriend, and Alec really did understand, but they fought better together.

“Don’t worry,” Magnus told him, “We’ll be fine.”

“And I’ll look after Magnus… _If _he even needs it.” Clary told Alec, looking rather fierce with her blade in her hand. She was _finally _a force to be reckoned with.

They would be fine – they had to be fine.

“Okay,” Alec said, regaining his thoughts, “Simon and Izzy, I want you to contact any one we know from the Downworld and ask if they are willing to help out. I don’t know who will be willing after what happened at the Institute, but it’s worth a shot.”

“You’re not putting me on the sidelines!” Izzy complained, “Alec I-”

“I’m not,” Alec told her, trying to appease her, “But Simon isn’t going to make it by himself. Someone has to go with him.”

“Hey!” Simon complained, but then shrugged, “Okay, yeah I’m not offended. He’s right. I was told this was going to be an _easy _mission. I am so not cut out for hordes of demon things with…Tentacles. Gross. Horrible.”

Alec couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Iz?”

Izzy huffed, but nodded at him, “Alright, brother.” She slung him into a one-armed hug, “You die, and I will kill you in the afterlife.”

“I believe it.” 

The demons were climbing the beams of the Bridge now, nearly at the lower level. This was going to be worse than what they just endured at the Institute. Then, before Alec could even begin to make sense of anything going on, they were moving. Magnus opened a portal for Izzy and Simon, both of whom rushed to it. Magnus was just about to open another portal when Alec stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Sorry.” Alec apologized, not really knowing what for. Without any warning, Alec put his lips on Magnus’s, hands sneaking onto Magnus’s face. Magnus didn’t hesitate in the slightest – his arms wrapped around his middle.

It wasn’t their most graceful kiss. No, this was filled with a fire Alec didn’t quiet understand. It was almost obvious that Magnus had done this before, maybe in a different lifetime. How many battles had he fought in? How many would times would Magnus be in this situation?

It didn’t matter. Instead of thinking for once in his life, he pulled away from Magnus and put his forehead on Magnus’s head, his eyes still closed.  


“_I love you,_” They said without words, “_Be safe.” _

“Oh, come on!” Jace complained, completely destroying Alec’s small moment. “Get a room!”

“No time!” Magnus snapped right back, breath centimeters from Alec’s. Lower, Magnus whispered, “What a wonderful way to go into a battle.”

Alec snorted, a little crazed, unable to help himself. Only Magnus could make light of it.

“That was the best good luck kiss I have ever seen,” Clary whispered reverently, causing Alec to blush. Jace looked at her incredulously, looking hurt. He moved towards her, but she stopped him.

“Are you kidding?” Clary continued, raising an eyebrow at Jace, “We can’t top that.”

Jace made a noise, something between shock and offence, but Magnus made a portal before he could continue. He pushed Alec through it lightly with a mischievous smile. Jace followed behind him, nearly tripping due to Clary shoving him in.

“Dude!” He complained, blades the ready, “You totally killed my vibe.”

“Not sorry.” Alec told him, but he couldn’t hide his satisfaction. About time Jace was bitter at him for having a ‘hot date.’ They were both silent, watching as the tell-tail sign of Magnus’s magic rippled across the water. “We just have to wait for reinforcements.” He muttered.

“Yeah,” Jace agreed, getting in his fighting stance. One demon was making its way up towards them. “Easy.”

The funny thing was, Jace truly did believe it was going to be easy.

The parabatai bond was throbbing with energy – This was what they were _born _to do. They haven’t fought together like this since… Well, since Clary first appeared in their lives. Alec could tell Jace missed it just as much as him.

“Let’s kick some ass.”

And then they were fighting, arrow to blade, hacking at demons as they rushed at them. His bow, in desperation, had become a weapon as more poured in. Both of them were covered in ichor and ash, but it did nothing to stop them.

It felt as if it had gone on forever. Alec, at first, was counting in his head, but when he made it to seventeen, he had found no point. Slowly, so very slowly, the horde around them turned into a dozen - into six. There was a throbbing gash in Jace’s shoulder. A matching slash mark was on Alec’s dominate arm.

His muscles were burning but Jace’s energy kept him standing. In turn, Jace received Alec’s focus. They were practically unstoppable.

When none were left, Jace and Alec collapsed back to back, using each other’s weight to keep them up.

“Good?” Jace breathed, but Alec didn’t need to answer. The bond did so for him.

“Magnus and Clary.” Alec said, only now noticing that he was limping. Something was lodged in his leg, probably a spike from one of the demons, but Alec didn’t have time for that. “I hear…”

They were still fighting down below.

“Let’s go,” Jace said, just as injured.

In sync they limped over to the edge of the bridge. Without a word, Jace jumped, trusting Alec to grab his arm and safely swing him lower. Alec did just that. It was a hard landing, causing Jace to use his body weight to roll, but he was on the bridge.

Alec jumped, free falling until Jace reached out his own arm and snatched him for the air. It was a move probably no other could pull off, but they weren’t exactly normal.

The reinforcements had arrived. Alec could hear Izzy’s whip in the distance. Luke and his werewolves were with her, creating a barricade from the city. Raphael was on the other end, his vampires clearly ready for a fight.

The Shadowhunters were mixed up in the middle of everything, fighting in an organized disarray but somehow managing to keep the demons away from each end.

When Alec looked around, Magnus was surrounded in a haze of red mist. For a moment, Alec’s heart stopped – what kind of demon could do _that. _But in another second, Magnus stretched out his hands.

The mist traveled around him in a circle, instantly killing off the demons around him. Clary, who was fighting one off right besides him, said something to Magnus and then took off at another demon.

Jace ran towards her, joining in on the fray. Alec joined Magnus, making sure to keep the parabatai bond as strong and open as it could be.

“Okay?” Alec asked Magnus, lifting Magnus’s arm around his shoulders and trying to support him as best he could with a banged-up leg. Magnus’s eyes weren’t exactly closed, but he was blinking rapidly.

“My hero.” Magnus told him, swallowing. “Just need a moment, darling.”

A demon, the largest one from the bunch, with eyes red as blood was making its way towards them _fast. _It was one of the ugliest demons Alec had ever seen – horrid green and yellow scales across its entire body, claws larger than Alec’s head, and – the best – was that the thing was spitting venom.

“Jace!” Alec screamed, but there was no way Jace could have heard him. The bond screamed at him, telling him the Jace was in danger. He was probably protecting Clary.

Magnus was breathing rapidly, but he untangled himself from Alec. “Distract it. I’ll knock it into the water.”

Alec nodded, his bow long gone, but his blade still in his hand. “Let’s end this thing.”

Magnus smiled wide, teeth showing. Alec wasn’t the only one enjoying the fight.

Alec rushed at the demon with his blade outstretched. In precision, Magnus shot a bolt of lightning just off of Alec’s shoulder, causing the demon to stumble closer to the edge. Alec slashed at his back leg. It let out a breathtaking scream of pain.

Alec was forced to duck out of the way as a clawed paw rushed at him. He grunted, shoving the dagger across its underside.

Magnus, noticing its weakness, sent another bolt of lightning at the same spot. The beast cried out once again, but it was far from over. Alec went to slash at his side in an attempt to move it closer to the ledge, but venom heading for his chest had him rolling away with a hard landing on his back.

In a movement so fast that Alec barely caught it, the demon rushed at Magnus. With a soft cry of pain, Magnus was thrown to the side like a ragdoll. He slammed close – _too close – _to the ledge. Magnus grabbed for one of the beams to stop him from falling into the water, but…

But his head slammed into it instead.

With a scream, Alec ran to the ledge, dodging the monster’s bite. He saw Magnus’s falling, _falling, and falling_. “Magnus!”

Without knowing what he was doing, he leaped over the handrail and…

He jumped.

Wind rushed around him, stopping his hearing – stopping his breath. With his heart beating painfully in his chest, he caught up to Magnus, wrapping his arms around Magnus’s chest. Magnus was unconscious. Magic couldn’t help them now.

Alec screamed once again, nearing the water. He glanced at Magnus’s closed eyes, wondering if he would ever see them again. This couldn’t be the end.

A sharp pain gathered in his back, so painful that he didn’t have the air to cry out. His wings – _his wings. _With another wave of pain, they burst out of their hiding. Instantly, the painfully cold wind wound its way through his feathers.

Alec held Magnus tighter, panting as he attempted for the first time to angle his wings correctly for the sharp drop. They weren’t flying. They were at the very least slowing down. Magnus’s weight was not helping the slightest, but Alec refused to let go.

They were nearing the water. He didn’t have a chance of holding onto Magnus if Magnus hit the water first. Curled his wings around him, turning them around midair.

Alec’s back hit the water just past the shoreline. He tried his best to hang on to Magnus but he was ripped from his grasp. Alec blacked out for a second, the icy water nearly enough to drown him. He refused to give up. He searched for Magnus blindly, nearly crying as he felt a hand. He grunted with effort, using his wings to stay afloat.

Just as Alec felt his feet touch the bottom of the river, he blacked out again.

Magnus had, at least, made it to shore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never written a battle scene in my life. I hope it came out somewhat decent...Maybe...Possibly? 
> 
> Sorry the cliff hanger! I am a big meanie. 
> 
> Don't forget to tell me what you think! How do you think Magnus and the others will react?


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all going to kill me.

Magnus was…Falling. He tried to open his eyes, to focus enough to control his magic and at least help him land softly, but he was…

Floating. Someone’s arms – Alexander’s arms, he would know them anywhere – were wrapped around him, his hand pushing Magnus’s head lightly on his shoulder. Alexander was panting, nearly in pain, but Magnus still couldn’t open his eyes. 

There was the sound of moving air – it was such a startling sound that Magnus’s heart skipped a beat. His eyes finally opened, getting a glimpse of what was no doubt their death. Yet, he caught sight of something else entirely.

Wings – big, gigantic wings moving and fluttering as they kept both himself and Alexander in the sky. He blinked again, looking at Alec, only to realize the wings were…

They crashed. The icy cold water did nothing to help wake him up. Instead, he was left unconscious, completely at the mercy of the water. 

His father’s hands were around his throat, drowning him. He couldn’t breathe. He was going to die – he was going to die and a demon like him was never going to see his mother after death. He took a deep breath, but instead water filled his lungs. 

Lightning ignited his skin as…

As strong hands grabbed at him, pulling him away from the sand down below and up until he could take a breath of air. It wasn’t enough. Magnus coughed, water spewing everywhere, but it wasn’t enough – he couldn’t breathe. 

He coughed, stars dancing in his vision, face towards the sky. He was so tired. He coughed weakly, hoping that Alexander had made it safely to shore. 

Magnus woke up freezing.

It was not necessarily something that he was used to. Being Asmodeus’s son usually meant that his body temperature ran hotter than most supernatural beings. Usually, being a Warlock meant that anytime he felt hot, with a wave of his hand he could fix it. 

Instead, he woke up shivering and cold.

He flung himself up, coughing as even more water made its way out of his lungs. Everything hurt – physically and mentally. His magic was depleted, screaming at him in a way that caused painful pins and needles on his whole body. He had little hope of creating a portal out of here, and he couldn’t remember… 

His head was on fire – no doubt a lovely concussion – he brought a hand to his head, only for it to come back bloody. This was certainly not a situation he was used to. 

Then, a name came to mind. 

“Alexand-” He coughed again, the water burning his throat, “Alexander!” 

It all came rushing to him – the fight, protecting Clary, using magic he hadn’t used in years…Fighting with Alexander. The wings. He forced every ounce of his magic to produce a ball of light. The shore was visible now, including…Including…

“Alec!” A voice called, interrupting his thoughts, “Magnus!” Another yelled, sounding frantic. Magnus couldn’t answer if he wanted to. 

No, he was memorized by his Alexander – his boyfriend, laid bare on the beach. It wasn’t the blood, or the obvious broken bones, or the tattered shirt that stopped Magnus, it was…

“Magnus!” Someone yelled, relieved. It was Biscuit. Clarissa was calling him. 

Magnus moved his hand shakily to Alexander’s wing but felt himself stop. No, this wasn’t important now – Alexander with wings wasn’t what he was focusing on. He couldn’t focus on it. Alexander was hurt. He had to focus on that. 

“Here!” He called to the group, unable to keep out a gasp of pain as he made himself stand. He swayed where he stood, but he managed it. He grabbed Alec’s hands behind his head and began to drag him away from the water. 

“Magnus!” Clary called, relief clearly in her voice, “Oh my god, I’m glad-”

Magnus didn’t let her think, “Help me get him out of the water!”

She didn’t move. Her mouth was opening and closing, looking at Alexander as if he was the next coming. From what Magnus could guess, she had gone into shock. Magnus couldn’t blame her. She had seen a lot in the past couple of months, become a warrior within her own right faster than any other Magnus had seen, but he didn’t have time to be kind to her. 

“Clarissa!” He yelled, furious. He didn’t mean to snap at her, but his temper at the moment was wildly out of control. 

“Right,” She breathed. She went into the water without another word, grabbing Alexander’s legs and lifting slightly, “Alec has wings. Okay. Perfectly normal.” 

Magnus said nothing, too busy focusing on not passing out. “The others?” He asked her just as they managed to get Alec out of the water. He searched for any life-threatening injuries. Nothing too serious – nothing that should keep a Shadowhunter down – but Alec didn’t stir in the slightest. 

“Yeah,” Clary replied, staring at the wings once again with a blank expression. “Jace!” She called loudly, “Simon!” 

“-Hear you!” Simon called back, voice echoing down the shoreline. They weren’t far. 

“Biscuit,” Magnus said, stars dancing in his eyes once again, “The loft. Can’t…Can’t go to the Clave.” 

“What?” She asked, but Magnus wasn’t going to make it.

“Catarina.” He managed to get out. 

He looked at Alec’s face one more time, taking in how peaceful he looked in such a dire situation. Magnus loved him.

“Magnus!” 

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Magnus woke up surprisingly comfortable. 

There was a blanket pulled over him, along with a pillow under his head. His magic was settled comfortably in his chest, humming with healing as it attempted to repair itself in his sleep. Another’s magic, a familiar magic, was also there, guiding it.

“Catarina.” Magnus whispered, recognizing it. 

There was a shuffling of feet, then a hand on his forehead – it was nice. “Magnus Bane, in trouble again.” 

Magnus couldn’t help the small smile at the words. Finally, he opened his eyes, not surprised in the slightest to see his dear old friend glaring at him with a fond expression. She looked frazzled. 

“How long…?” He asked, getting up from his couch. The irony of him being on the very same couch a certain Alpha Werewolf was only months ago did not escape him. He forced himself not to put his head on his hands – the headache he had was quite a lovely hangover. 

“Couple of hours, lover boy,” She told him, making her way to the armchair across from him. She fell into it, closing her eyes. What kind of shape was he in if she was tired enough to fall asleep sitting up? “The Lightwood boy is… Stable. He’s in your bedroom, taking his time waking up.”

“Alexander!” Magnus said, suddenly alert. Memories came rushing back to him once again – a glimpse of the wings now clearly on his mind. 

“Is fine,” Catarina interrupted, almost harshly, “He didn’t have any serious injuries. The only reason he isn’t up yet is the hypothermia.” 

Magnus looked at her, raising an eyebrow, “And you have nothing to say about-”

“I don’t care if the boy had two antlers sticking out of his head,” She said, meaning it, “He’s an on the mend Shadowhunter who is dating my best friend, who saved my best friend– Whatever extra appendages he has doesn’t matter to me.”

Magnus somehow managed to nod. He wasn’t incapable of stopping the tears that rushed to his eyes at his friend’s care towards both him and Alexander. He had forgotten that he had friends outside of what people revolved were currently involved in the fight against Valentine.

“But,” She said, after a moment of silence, “The boy has a hell of a lot of hurt coming his way.” 

Magnus sighed deeply, knowing exactly what she meant, “I didn’t know.” He told her softly, “He never...”

“Figured,” Catarina said, snapping her fingers. A glass of water was suddenly in Magnus hands, and Magnus quickly took a sip, “Those siblings of his were freaking out in ways only Shadowhunters can.” 

Magnus felt like hitting himself – he didn’t even ask about the others. 

“Will you stop it with that face,” She said, “All of them are perfectly fine. Shock was more of a concern rather than their injuries. It’s not everyday you find out your bother has wings.”

“If the Clave even gets a hint that Alexander-”

“At least one of them had enough sense to bring him here than,” Catarina interrupted again, it was almost frustrating, “The Clave would love to get its hands on him. I only ever heard stories about a Nephilim with wings, none of them with a happy ending. There was one – what? – some odd hundred years ago?” 

Magnus shuttered, knowing exactly what story she was thinking. Magnus had been there; watched as Shadowhunters used their own blades to slowly cut away the beautiful feathers. The screams haunted him for months. It was nothing compared to how they killed her after that. 

“The Clave will never hear of this,” He snarled, forcing himself to not dwell on the past. It was only his age that allowed him the skill of forgetting. “I won’t let them do anything like that to Alexander.”

Catarina finally had the sense not to say anything. Instead, she hummed, getting up from her seat, “Might as well greet your guests,” She suggested, “They’ve been worried about you. I just barely convinced them to stay in your bedroom and give you some space.”

Magnus huffed out a laugh, “I don’t think they know the meaning.” 

Catrina looked at him closely. It had been a while since he was under such scrutiny. Magnus didn’t dare say anything. Instead, he mustered everything he could into giving her a genuine smile. 

“They’re good for you,” She said at least, “I’m glad.” She paused for a brief moment, looking at his bedroom, “Alec is all healed – should be up within the next hour. And though I know you don’t care about yourself, your concussion is gone, along with some minor injuries. I, even though this has been fun, need to get back to Madzie.” 

Magnus, without giving her any warning on purpose, snatched her into a fierce hug, “Thank you.” 

She wrapped her arms around him, surprising him, “Don’t die on me, Magnus Bane.” She muttered in her ear, “We just lost Ragnor, I can’t lose you too.” 

“Sorry, old friend,” He said, meaning it, “I meant to call, to talk about-”

“I didn’t want to talk about it,” She replied, stepping away from him, “Still don’t. Give me another century. Just…” She smiled crookedly at him, “Be happy, alright?”

“You too,” He waved his hand, opening a portal for her, “Call me.” 

Magnus felt whatever bravo leave him as he watched his oldest friend disappear with a small wave goodbye. He sat himself on his couch, absently mindedly twisting the rings on his fingers – a nervous habit he was never able to get rid of. 

Magnus wasn’t upset at Alexander for never telling him. He was sure that elder Lightwoods had drilled into the boy to not show anyone. For once, a rather smart decision. However, he couldn’t help but wonder how much of Alexander’s self-confidence was destroy by his parents’… Instructions. Magnus couldn’t see a world where Maryse Lightwood was kind about having her eldest child be an outcast. 

That brought along another mystery. How was it that the Lightwoods found a way to hide the wings? From what Magnus remembered, there was no Shadowhunter or any sort of supernatural being that could hide them. But that didn’t matter at the moment. 

Magnus had other…Things to think about. He was worried about Alexander. No, Magnus realized, he was upset that Alexander had felt the need to hide the wings from anyone he had ever loved. No wonder Alec felt the need to protect the ones he loved so dearly – no one ever protected him. 

He ran a nervous hand through his hair. He was reeling over the fact that Alexander risked his life trying to save him – risked being handed over to the Clave for him. He shivered when he remembered flashes of wings and then the water. 

He shook his head, banishing the images from his mind. He didn’t have energy to deal with what was happening now, let alone the past. What he had to focus on was making sure Alec, as well as Alec’s family, was okay. 

He forced himself up from his seat, taking slow steps to his bedroom. He didn’t even make it towards the door before someone was barging out of it.

“Magnus!” Biscuit said, relieved. She nearly barreled into him, much to his surprise, and pulled him into a hug, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Magnus hugged her back, glad that she was as well, “You too, Biscuit. Though I’m not surprised, demons were practically running on that Bridge.” 

Clary snorted, pulling away from him. Magnus was surprised to see that she had tears in her eyes, “All because of you.”

Magnus was about to ask about Alexander, but Jace and Isabelle had appeared in the doorway. Both looked no worse for ware, yet there was something about them – their tired eyes and slouched postures – that spoke more than anything else. 

Magnus took a deep breath, but he had lost the ability to speak. 

“Did you know?” Jace asked him, voice low. “Did you know that Alec has-”

“No,” Magnus said, not letting him finish the sentence, “From what Catarina told me, he didn’t tell anyone.”

The room fell silent. Jace looked to be absorbing the information. From the roll of his shoulders, it was obvious that he thought Magnus did know and was ready for a fight. The boy obviously was upset that his parabatai had been lying to him. It was understandable, but Magnus couldn’t see a world where Jace would abandon Alec. 

“Their beautiful,” Clary said suddenly, peaking into the room where Alexander was, “I mean, I get that it’s not…Not normal for Shadowhunters to have wings, but there’s so many supernatural creatures in the world. Why are wings so…”

“They represent change,” Isabelle answered, surprising him, “And it’s my brother that’s been chosen by the Angels. It’s insane. And for my parents to make him lie to us all his life about this part of himself. He shouldn’t have to hide another part of who he is just because the Clave isn’t ready to deal with…” She shook her head, tears in her eyes, “It doesn’t matter.”

“No,” Magnus said, understanding exactly where her feelings laid, “It will matter. I loath to admit it, but your parents not allowing Alexander to show anyone was probably what kept him alive.”

Isabella opened her mouth, but Magnus didn’t let her finish, “I’m not saying they did what was right for Alexander, but they did what they thought they had to do to keep their son alive.”

“They didn’t – Robert didn’t,” Jace said, eyes blank, “I didn’t know.” 

Jace let out a big breath of air, looking past all of them, “When we first became parabatai, my back would hurt out of nowhere – no injuries, no sprains. It took my months to figure out it was coming from Alec. And when I questioned him, he panicked – said something about training. He practically ran out of the room.”

“It couldn’t have been from the wings,” Clary said, sliding her hand in Jace’s. “You said that it hasn’t felt like that for years.” 

Magnus closed his eyes, knowing exactly what Jace was trying to say. The Lightwoods didn’t just stop Alexander from showing his siblings, they had beat out the very thought of it. For a moment, Magnus was lost in his own emotions once again, his magic instantly rising to the surface. Revenge, it whispered, angry as him. But Magnus couldn’t do that…Not now, at least. 

If Isabelle was a Warlock, Magnus had no doubt in his mind that she would have destroyed his entire loft. She was shaking with anger. Magnus had seen her upset, worried, maybe even frustrated, but it was nothing like this. 

Jace, however, instead of his usual hot-headed, reckless self, was deathly quiet. Instead of his anger, he was left with…With utter despair. Magnus, in all of his years, did not have a word for it. Clary was still holding his hand, but Jace didn’t seem to even register it. 

“That’s…” Clary whispered, but she didn’t finish her sentence.

“Right now,” Magnus said, reigning in his every emotion towards Maryse and Robert, “let’s focus on making sure Alexander is comfortable.” 

“I don’t think I can go back in there,” Isabella said, but she wasn’t looking at any of them, “I’m going for a walk.”

“Izzy.” Clary tried, but she stormed by her before they could say another word. He heard the door to his loft open and then slam shut. Apparently, working through your emotions in healthy manner was not for any of the Lightwoods. 

“Come on.” Jace said to him, turning back towards the bedroom.

Magnus took a calming breath.

He walked into his bedroom without another thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am VERY VERY SORRY that I did not get to Alec waking up. THAT turned into about, uh, SO FAR ten more pages. I had to break it up. 
> 
> So next Friday you'll get the desired chapter. 
> 
> In any case, THANK YOU ALL FOR SUCH KIND WORDS AND REVIEWS AND KUDOS. All of you are amazing and I hope you have the most amazing day. 
> 
> Let me know what thought! Is there something you want that I'm not focusing on? Some scene that you are desperate for? Give me some ideas and I will attempt to write it in this mess of a fic <3


	4. Chapter Four

Magnus’s stumbled for a second, realizing just a bit too late that he had not really seen the wings in all their glory. Before he legs could catch up with his brain, he was in his bedroom, freezing when he caught sight of Alexander.

Any ideas he had of them suddenly vanished from his mind. His bed had been expanded to fit what Magnus had no doubt was a ten-foot wingspan. And _the wings_. They were beautiful. He thought they were white, and some were, but Magnus was surprised to find that they were a mixture of golden brown, white, and black. They were stunning.

Magnus couldn’t help but stare at him, at his _boyfriend_. He looked like an Angel from the Shadowhunter Codex. It was almost too much to process.

Jace, maybe in madness, let out a strangled chuckle, “You handled it better than Izzy.”

Magnus was supposed to say something about never being better than dear Isabella, or a quick quip about no one ‘handling’ it worse than someone else, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

_“Indah.” Beautiful._ Magnus found himself whispering, surprised that the word made it past his lips. But it was just then that Magnus noticed the out of place feathers. Some look completely bent in half.

“I was going to straighten them out,” Clary said, realizing what he was staring at, “But...”

“You’re not supposed to look Angel wings at all if you do not have pure intentions, let alone touch them without asking him.” Jace said, hand inches from one particular feather. Magnus knew nothing about bird wings _(something to add to the list of growing things he had to research)_ but it was one of the longer ones, making the wing seem disproportional.

Magnus didn’t want to bring up the fact that his parents had touched Alexander’s wings, nor was it with ‘pure’ intentions.

“You’re parabatai,” Magnus said instead, knowing that Alexander would agree, “The last thing on Alexander’s mind when he wakes up is you violating an old Shadowhunter’s conspiracy.”

Jace hesitated a second longer, his fingertips nearly touching the long feather, but Magnus could have never prepared for the movement the simple action brought.

Alexander, without the use of any runes, moved faster than Magnus had ever seen a Shadowhunter move – faster than he’d seen any creature move. In a blink of the eye, Jace was pushed against his bookshelf, splintering it in half. Alexander’s forearm was pressed against Jace’s throat, causing him to let a gasp.

Magnus was hopeless against the vision in front of him. He’s seen the artwork in Idris of the Angels, but Alexander had never looked more unearthly. The wings were behind him, fully outstretched and high in the air, baring down on Jace. It must have been an instinctual fighting stance, but it was nothing Magnus had even seen before.

On stop of that, Alexander’s parabatai rune was _glowing_ – a golden hue, in time with both their heartbeats. It nearly lit up the entire room.

“Ale-” Jace coughed. He didn’t fight back – maybe couldn’t with Alexander’s fierce display, “Brother.”

Alexander was breathing heavily, gaze unfocused. The room stilled. Magnus raised his hands, calling on his magic in case Alexander didn’t snap out of it. But Alec took a shuddering breath of air in, blinking.

_“Jace?”_ He asked, voice hoarse, “What?” The wings dropped slightly, no longer a threatening image. The fluttered once – one small beat away from Jace, who collapsed to his knees, coughing. Alexander went with him, a gasp of pain leaving his lips. He looked around, freezing in place when he caught sight of Magnus and Clary.

“Magnus?” He said, wings once again fluttering. If Magnus wasn’t so dumbfounded, he might have realized that Alexander’s wings were responding to Alexander on an emotional level. Instead, all Magnus could do was attempt a reassuring smile.

“You’re okay.” Alec continued, not moving, but slightly less tense. Possibly.

“Alec,” Jace coughed. Magnus could see the parabatai rune glowing underneath his shirt. “The bond.”

Alec glanced away from Magnus and back towards Jace, who was just as pale. Alec’s eyes widened at the sight of the rune. Alexander’s hand flew to his own rune, scratching at it.

Magnus went to Alexander just as Clary went to Jace. Both allowed their partners to lean against them. Magnus was surprised out how _cold_ Alexander felt, but mostly too preoccupied with keeping him upright. The wings were certainly not helping him balance.

“I can’t feel you,” Alec groaned out, “Jace, what-”

_“Stop blocking me!”_ Jace said, breathing harshly. He was shaking and sweaty, hand outstretched towards Alec, almost touching him. But Alec withdrew. It was heartbreaking to watch.

“Stele!” Alexander said, looking at Clary, “Clary, _stele._”

Clary flung her hands towards her pants pockets, also shaking as she handed it to him. Alexander hastily placed the stele to the other side of his hip.

If Magnus wasn’t so close, he would have missed it – it was with practiced ease that Alexander brought the tip of it to his other hip, drawing out a swirling curves of a rune that Magnus had never seen before. The rune lit up a harsh red, signifying how powerful (Magnus couldn’t think about how painful) the rune was. By the time Magnus had a chance to study the full image, it was gone, melting into his skin faster than Magnus could process.

One second, Magnus had a warm, soft wing of feathers pressing ever so slightly on his back. In one blink they were gone. Magnus didn’t have the words for the sharp change in the room. Alexander put his head against his shoulder, not really meaning to from the sudden movement of it.

The parabatai rune stopped glowing as well. Jace let out a strangled noise, collapsing against Clary. He was still shaking.

“Sorry,” Alexander said, truly meaning, “I’m sorry.”

Magnus hushed him, bringing a hand up to the back of Alexander’s neck and playing with the hair there. Thankfully, he relaxed right into the touch – a testament to how tired he was. Alexander went to put his arms around Magnus, just as he had done a thousand times, but stopped, hand raised in the air.

He was pushing away from Magnus, fumbling clumsily to remove himself from him. Alexander ended up pressed against his bed frame, looking nearly like a feral animal.

“Relax.” Jace told him, delicately, the softest Magnus had ever heard the blonde. He once again reached out a hand towards Alec, but Alec turned away from him, pushing himself away ever so slightly.

“You saw – But I didn’t activate the rune-” Alec rambled, close to hysterical, “How did…?” He closed his eyes, taking uneven breaths of air in.

Magnus watched him, primarily focusing on the clear panic attack that was happening – the emotions of this entire event could wait. He slowly, slower than Jace, reached out a hand towards him, but didn’t dare touch him.

“You’re alright,” Magnus said kindly, attempting to keep eye contact with him. He had to ground Alec. “Everyone here is unharmed. Isabelle is safe. The Institute is still standing. Your parents do not know this occurred.”

Alexander said nothing, but his breathing eventually evened out to something relatively normal. He slumped against the bed post, running a shaky hand over his face. _“What did I do?”_

Magnus flinched, unable to help himself. He thought it hurt the first time Alexander had said those words, right after the best kiss of his entire immortal life. It was nothing compared to the utter self-loathing and defeat that he heard from his love. He tried to say _something_ to him – to calm him down or tell him how wonderful he was – but he was frozen.

“You saved Magnus.” Clary said, surprising him.

Alexander turned to her, but his abruptly did a one eighty, head spinning back to Magnus so fast that Magnus couldn’t help but feel nervous. “You fell.” Alec said, but it didn’t quite come out right.

“You caught me.”

Whatever fight was left in Alexander just banished before his eyes. The panic was gone, replaced with the Alexander that Magnus knew he could be, but not necessarily the best him – the unwavering leader, the perfect solider and son.

“Okay,” He said, _finally_ taking Magnus’s hand, and squeezing once before letting go,“Okay.”

It was then that Jace put a hand to the parabatai rune, just barely flinching. Alec flinched with him, but then his eyes widened. “Did I-”

“No,” Jace said, immediately. Magnus has to admit that he was a bit lost, “It’s still there – _I’m_ still there. We’re okay.”

The two looked at each other, something deep and emotional that Magnus had no idea the two could pull off. It wasn’t often, but Magnus had wondered whether Jace was actually a good parabatai. Jace, though Magnus would never say anything, would use Alexander’s position as Head of the Institute as an excuse more times than Magnus wanted to admit.

Magnus couldn’t deny that connection that the two had now, maybe even was glad of it for once. With one reassuring look from his parabatai, Alexander was calmer – more himself. Alec’s moved his away from the rune, shifting in place. This was what Alexander needed right now. Magnus knew that Alec loved him – knew that he himself would do anything for Alec. But right now, Alec needed his brother.

“Biscuit…” Magnus said, not really knowing what he could say without it being obvious.

“Food!” Clary finished for him, pulling away from Jace, “The both of you have to be starving!”

Magnus smiled wide, happy she was able to get the message. “Famished, in fact. I would magic up something, but I’m a bit low I’m afraid.”

“But you’re okay?” Alexander asked immediately, worry filling his gaze. Magnus’s heart swelled. “Do you need anything? Were you hurt? Did someone look you over?”

“Relax,” Jace repeated, but he was teasing, “Catarina Loss was here just a second ago. I think she called Magnus…What was it?”

“A self-sacrificing pain in her ass.” Clary finished for him, causing Magnus to laugh. That was just like his friend. “Followed by _a lot_ of healing magic.”

“I’m fine, Alexander,” Magnus finished for them. He got up from the ground, giving his love a quick kiss on his cheek, causing his beautiful Shadowhunter to blush. “We both need rest. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” Alexander agreed, then got up as well, right before sitting back down on the bed. Magnus would have asked if he was feeling _physically_ alright, but he was sure that Jonathan would for him.

Without another word, both Clary and himself walked out of the room. This was going to be a long night.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Jace wasn’t good at this.

This being feelings, or, _whatever_. It was probably why Alec was such an understanding parabatai – he wasn’t very good at showing his emotions either. At least Alec was able to tell what Jace needed without any words. Jace, on the other hand, stayed perpetually confused by whatever Alec was feeling.

Alec, however, was looking past him. Jace didn’t dare – he knew he would be looking at the destroyed bookshelf behind him. Glass and wood splinters were…Everywhere, but at least Magnus didn’t seem bothered by it.

“Same side.” Jace said good naturally, offering up a smile that was maybe just a bit more of a grimace than he expected.

“Yeah,” Alec agreed, darkly, “Lies and all.”

Jace winced despite himself. He didn’t even consider that Alec would blame himself. He should have, honestly. Alec always put everything on himself. But in his haste for anger against their parents, Jace had lost, as he always managed to do, sight of Alec’s own feelings.

“I don’t care,” Jace replied strongly, “I don’t care that you were born with wings. I’m not upset at you for keeping it from me. I should have asked. You’ve been there for me-”

“_Don’t-_” Alec managed, looking pain, “I’m not-”

“You’re my brother,” Jace said, strangled, “You were hurting and I just-”

“This is _exactly_ the reason I never told you,” Alec continued, as if Jace didn’t even speak, “I didn’t need – I don’t deserve your guilt. I hid them from you, I became your parabatai without telling you, I’ve been lying to you for years!”

Jace took in all in stride, “I don’t care!”

“You should!” He screamed back, “You should care, Jace! Do you know what happens to people like me? Do you?”

Jace stayed silent, more surprised than anything by Alec’s outburst.

“They_ die!_ They’re sent to the City of Bones for the rest of their lives, or get their wings cut off, or burned alive. Maybe all three of those! But it’s nothing – nothing compared to what happens to their family.” Alec’s eyes filled with tears, “I don’t know. That’s how bad it is. There’s never any mention of them ever again – not in any codex or journal or any sort of document. They _disappear._”

“And that’s on me,” Alec continued, “All because I was born a _freak._”

“Don’t say that,” Jace said, finally getting a grip, “Don’t ever say that again.”

Alec didn’t look at him. He put his head down just as Jace’s bond flared – a feeling of such deep shame that left Jace clenching his fist so hard that his nails dug into his skin painfully. It wasn’t fair for his brother to feel this way – it wasn’t fair that the Clave hated him just because he was born different.

Jace stumbled towards Alec, opening his arms wide just as Alec flung himself from the bed at him, hugging him tightly. They both clung to each other, just as they did when they were kids. Alec was still only taking in puffs of air, trying to hold back tears.

“I’m sorry.” Alec said, just as Jace said the same.

“You’re not a freak,” Jace said before Alec could, “You were _never_ a freak. I don’t care that you lied to me. And I know you would never do anything to hurt me or our family. Nothing is going to happen to us.”

Alec pulled away, but Jace kept him there by putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, “I’m here for you, okay? Whatever you need.”

Alec smiled just slightly, finally relaxing, “Thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Jace answered, but he smiled as well, “We’re parabatai.”

Alec had never looked so…Relieved. Jace felt it through the bond, the utter sense of _peace_ as Alec finally believed his words. Jace latched onto it, showing Alec just how much he still trusted him. The bond sung beneath his skin, happily snapping into place as both took a deep breath. They were whole.

“Clary is right, you know,” Jace said, “You really should eat.”

“Yeah,” Alec answered, “Just…”

Jace could feel it – the uncertainty. It was a feeling Jace often felt when Alec was first with Magnus. “Magnus doesn’t care,” Jace told him, awkwardly, “I’ve never seen someone just… Take something at face value like he did. He _really_ loves you.”

Alec nodded, blinking, “Yeah. Yeah, I know. Just… It’s a lot.”

Jace nodded, “You having wings? Nothing compared to thinking I was Clary’s sister.”

Alec actually laughed, “Or finding out I’m in love with Magnus?”

“Oh yeah,” Jace answered, laughing right along with him, “That’s like, way lower than the siblings thing. At least ten down.”

Alec laughed once again. He was better, but he wasn’t quite what Jace knew was one hundred percent. It was going to take more than a few words to get over this one.

But that never did stop Alec. He stood straighter, hands clasped behind his back, and took a step forward. Though it was _just_ dinner, to Jace – or maybe to Alec – he looked like he was going to battle. He took it in stride.

Alec was always stronger than what Jace gave him credit for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh...I am late. I am VERY sorry for that. I moved into college on Tuesday and it was SO MUCH MORE STRESSFUL than I thought it was going to be, so writing kind of got held back. 
> 
> In any case, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't worry, more action coming soon!!! Thank you to everyone who kudo'd, commented, and honestly just read. You're amazing!
> 
> *edit* I realized that ao3 didn't take my italicized text, so I fixed that up :)


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